i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Randomize
