I think my fart just growled at me.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
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