addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
