I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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