I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
