Whatcha textin bout Willis?
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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