ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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