remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
