i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
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