East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I just found like 5 packs of sparklers. If someone doesn't get set on fire tonight I am retiring from party hosting.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
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