brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
She even gives head with a lisp.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
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