if only i could text you this smell
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
My vagina just clenched in fear
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
