Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
