Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Randomize
