At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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