some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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