I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
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