i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
Randomize