bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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