did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I wish you could order shots online.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
