I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
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