i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
