Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
