Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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