So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Randomize
