Christians are straight up FREAKS
break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
