I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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