I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Randomize
