No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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