I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
