I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Did we literally take a cab across the street
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
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