I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Sponge bath it is.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
