Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize