Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I touched a dick in church today
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
