just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
