I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Randomize
