Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Can I color on your dick again?
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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