It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize