I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
