I just made out with a guy for $7.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
His hands were made for my vagina.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
