I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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