If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
