Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
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