You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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