How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
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