So I just walked in on one of our neighbors having sex...on our couch.
WHAT?!
He apologized for staining our couch, then asked if he could make me a drink. Pretty sure he was still inside her while we were talking.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
try to milk me bitch
Randomize
