quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Randomize
