ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Randomize
