If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
