hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
