So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
porn star boner night. come get it.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
