i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
