the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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