oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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