Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
