Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
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