After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
After last night, I could never be a politician.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
