I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I just threw up on my dentist
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
