Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
the day after is always just damage control
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize