i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
