I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
