Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
