so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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