wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
