My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
