If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Randomize
