I will die if light touches me.
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize