I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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