This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
my sisters under your porch take her home
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Randomize
