You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
Randomize
