Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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