His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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