Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize